Father Again?
1. How To Deal With Becoming A Father
This page is for you if you need to be a father again. This pregnancy may have been planned and you are ready, or it may have been unexpected. That you already have one or more children occupying your time and attention can either add to the joy and anticipation of becoming a father again or diminish it.
Same old, but not
Because they’ve done it before, many women find the second pregnancy more relaxed. It’s not as stressful as having your first child, and you and your boyfriend already have some routines and experiences. Maybe you’re worried about breastfeeding, sleep, etc. because your first pregnancy, birth, or time with your first child was stressful.
Here are questions for fathers of multiples.
- Plan for the new situation.
- It can help to plan how you and your boyfriend will handle the new situation so it doesn’t come as a surprise. E.g:
- How do you make daily life flow?
- Can big sister or big brother find out?
- What about love and lust?
- How do you both find time for your kids?
- How do you make sure your older sibling gets lots of love?
- Do you feel cheated because your older child doesn’t get the same attention?
2) Learn from others’ mistakes
The experiences of others may still be relevant to you. Talk to friends and family who have tried to have more children. You can also ask the midwife, doctor, and health nurse for appointments.
3) Cooperate
When you and your boyfriend have one or more children at the same time, it can be stressful. Maybe one of you needs more space, and the other can take over for a while.
Big sister and big brother may not understand that mom is pregnant and may be unable to play at the same pace. As a father, you can strengthen your bond with your child by playing with it and paying extra attention to it.
When a new baby arrives, it may need some privacy from its parents. You could split up and one of you stay home with the new baby while the other goes out with big sister or big brother.