You’re a father now, and you have to think about how you want your child raised.
There are 117 attitudes to upbringing in the media and elsewhere. It’s mostly about people thinking what others do is wrong – like curling, antenna, radar, etc.
Good and bad upbringing
There is no right or wrong way to parent. Rather, a child’s behavior and attitudes are formed through systematic upbringing. The family is where the personality is formed.
Three parenting tips
- Set an example.
- Consider your preference in the upbringing triangle.
- Raise your child with love and empathy.
Your child looks up to you.
It’s not about what you say, but what you do to educate your child. Your child picks up on your values and attitudes by watching you live them out. When your child grows up, he or she will decide whether to follow your values and attitudes or not. Your values, worldview, morals, and way of life will all influence it.
What can and cannot your child do?
Parents frequently argue about what their child may or may not do, when it should sleep, whether it should be given sweets, and so on. Science can’t help because there are no established rules. Conversely, new currents are constantly emerging as scientifically based but are often an expression of changing trends over time.
‘Laissez-faire’ upbringing, where one lets go, performance upbringing, where one places one’s child, and moral-authoritarian upbringing, where the child just has to listen.
You and your boyfriend can use that triangle to:
By supporting and encouraging your child’s goals, you help them develop independence.
Your child learns important skills by incorporating them into daily life and supporting them in coping with increasingly important things. Then it will likely become skilled in life.
Your child learns how to interact with others, including other children, through your example and guidance.
You and your boyfriend may have opposing views on freedom and boundaries. Hopefully you alternate those roles. There is no fact list. You must choose based on your beliefs and the compromises that result. With an open mind, love, and empathy for your child and girlfriend it should be fine.