What Kind of Dad Do You Want to Be?
You’ve become a father and one of your child’s most important figures. What you say and do shapes the little new person’s life. Find advice on how to deal with your new role as a father and how to become the father you want to be.
How to be a good dad?
You can answer these questions alone or with your boyfriend:
- What values do I want to teach my child?
- Can I use anything from my father’s way of life?
- Is there anything I would like to pass on from my parents?
- Are there any childhood memories I don’t want to share with my kids?
- Do I need any knowledge or tools?
- Who can help me get out?
Get ideas from others.
Many fathers naturally want to be involved in their children’s lives – to show concern, be present, and generally be close to them. Your father often inspires you. It can be motivating to have a good father remembered fondly as a child. Others may have negative memories of fatherhood and wish to do it differently.
If you need inspiration from someone other than your own father, consider friends or family fathers. Talking to your father about his motivations for being a father may help you gain clarity or understanding.
Both parents know it.
Traditionally, the primary caregiver was assumed to be the mother, with the father supporting her. We now know that both parents know the same things about their child and can form close bonds with him. The quality of your child’s contact with you as a father determines his attachment to you as a father.
As a father, you can consider whether your role and your responsibilities to your child are beneficial to you. For example, you may want your baby to come to you for comfort, or you and your boyfriend to cuddle the baby. If you’re unsure how to make it work, talk to the health nurse, other fathers, or the educators at your child’s daycare.
Your and your boyfriend’s roles for your child will likely change frequently. If one of you works a lot, for example, it can change who picks up/drops off your child, or who is most with them.
So imagine yourself as a father. Use the example to inspire your boyfriend and others.