The man is expected to exhibit both traditional and new male virtues. And some men struggle to live up to it, says blogger Ole Grosen.
“We have many men. Men want traditional masculine virtues as well as newer virtues that some men, but not all, have adopted. It’s a new era.
Women are more social – I wouldn’t call men semi-autistic, but it’s possible. As a result, we are good at what we can do, which is go in-depth and compete with other men. But today’s man is in a tough spot.
“Because man’s needs are changing. Women’s requirements have also changed, with a 40-50 year lead. In the 1960s, women learned to be both mothers and employees. Some men haven’t arrived yet. The mandarin role has widened and gained facets, placing demands on some that are difficult to meet.
Why can’t men follow?
“It also only applies to certain men and groups. Now I’ll pull it up very roughly, but the traditional male role is still respected in both the underclass and the upper class. Women north of Copenhagen adore men who can scrape together money while remaining sexually attractive. Women in the underclass like strong men who can grunt and have tattoos. I see the man role problem more in the academic middle class. The debate between city and country. City life and liberal values versus conservative values in the province.
But there are men who stay in the province and do not educate themselves while women move to the cities to do so. Isn’t it a male role in decay?
“Yes, because the men flee. It’s not the ladies’. The men must agree. It is up to them to decide whether they can give up their career or partner in order to meet society’s expectations. Otherwise, they hit a wall.
I’m not saying we should abandon traditional masculine virtues, as I believe they have many benefits, but neither should men broaden their color palette. It’s not unusual for a highly educated academic woman not to fall for a provincially uneducated man. She wants one on her terms. As for the highly educated woman, she loses out because there aren’t enough men to choose from if the men don’t get along.
You say men should self-care. So, what?
“They have to start reading books, stop playing football with the boys, and stop wearing the reverse cap until they are 40. They must mature. Women in their 30s-40s want a sensible man, not a boy ass.
Less traditional male virtues need to be embraced by men. They must become more inclusive, patient, attentive, and communicative. Then they must remain strong and determined.
Why haven’t men changed their ways since the 1950s? Why didn’t men evolve?
“I believe it has to do with women’s adaptability. Then there’s the deep-seated need to take care of the family. That doesn’t mean men fear women who earn more than them, but it may mean men feel obligated to provide for their families.
But we must not make it a major issue.
The majority of Danish men and women are in traditional relationships. I don’t think we’re in trouble. Men are catching on. My grandfathers could only heat milk and couldn’t attend their children’s births. My father was with me because I was born at home. But I couldn’t imagine missing my children’s births, and that’s life. So the man must accept the winds of change.